One Year Later...

May 31, 2012

So tomorrow is the anniversary that I will never celebrate - my Big Guy said to remember the birthday and not his death day. I can't believe that I've survived a year without him. But I have and the boys and Heather have and I think he would be proud of us.

I will try to make the time to reflect tomorrow on all that I have and all that Dallas left behind. There was a poem we used at his service that I think really sums it up:


You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind and be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

- Anonymous


He really did want me and the boys to love and go on and he left us with the inner strength to do that. He was so passionate about life, love and (as a friend pointed out) mostly me. What a wonderful gift to have shared my life with this amazing man. I believe that it is his love that has given me the strength to go on and look forward to the possibilities of what life still holds for me. I hope that the boys feel that same energy - I think they must - Dallas' attitude toward life was contagious. And I know that it lives on in them.

More later,

Patty xo