Four Years Later...

So here we are...almost four years later. Dallas would love how much his family has grown and I know that he's watching over all of us. I was remiss in not publishing an obituary at the time of his death. The boys didn't think it was necessary and yet I still run into people - almost four years later - that expect him to be next to me. These words commemorated him at the Invermere  Relay for Life after his death. I still think they hold true:

Dallas L. Stober
August 28, 1956 - June 1, 2011

Dallas was a loving, funny, brilliant, tenacious, extraordinary man. He was passionate about everything he did and showed everyone around him how to live life to the fullest and not waste a minute of it. He enjoyed golfing throughout the valley and as far away as Scotland. His love of fishing, hiking and the outdoors took him around B.C. and up to Alaska. He taught us how to live, and even as the cancer robbed him of his life, he showed us how to die. His energy and love of life was contagious and it lives on in his wife Patty and their sons, Marcus and Jordan. Dallas died of salivary gland adenocarcinoma (HER-2 positive), a rare and aggressive form of cancer, after a three year battle.

Miss you forever, my Big Guy xoxo.

A year and a bit later

A good friend just reminded me that she still stops by here once in a while and that perhaps others did too. I'm afraid that made me feel a bit melancholy and that always brings this song to mind so I thought I would share it with you. Dallas only found this song a few weeks before he died which meant that it had to be included in his service. It was important to him and I think that the lyrics spoke to what he felt as he said goodbye to everyone he loved.

A year and a bit later I'm happy to report that our family is doing well. I've sold the house and moved into a smaller place in town that I know Dallas would like for me. I've started working again and I know he'd like that too. Building a life without him has been difficult, and at times it seems insurmountable but the boys and Heather and I are doing it. And he'd be so excited about the baby that Marcus and Heather are expecting. He wanted so much to be a Grandpa and I know that the special gleam he always had in his eye will be passed on to this and every other grandchild we are blessed with.

More later,

Patty xoxo

One Year Later...

May 31, 2012

So tomorrow is the anniversary that I will never celebrate - my Big Guy said to remember the birthday and not his death day. I can't believe that I've survived a year without him. But I have and the boys and Heather have and I think he would be proud of us.

I will try to make the time to reflect tomorrow on all that I have and all that Dallas left behind. There was a poem we used at his service that I think really sums it up:


You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind and be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

- Anonymous


He really did want me and the boys to love and go on and he left us with the inner strength to do that. He was so passionate about life, love and (as a friend pointed out) mostly me. What a wonderful gift to have shared my life with this amazing man. I believe that it is his love that has given me the strength to go on and look forward to the possibilities of what life still holds for me. I hope that the boys feel that same energy - I think they must - Dallas' attitude toward life was contagious. And I know that it lives on in them.

More later,

Patty xo

THANK YOU SIDNEY ANGLERS!

I know that many of you probably don't read this blog anymore (I'm going to try and print it off into a book for the boys to remember our journey together as a family). The blog wouldn't be complete without sending hugs and BIG thank you's out to the Sidney Anglers Fishing group, of which Dallas was a proud member up until the time he died. He loved his position as treasurer and always looked forward to the meetings where fishing stories were exchanged and good company was enjoyed. At their first meeting this fall the members voted to name one of their derbies after Dallas - in fact his favourite one - the Halibut derby! He used to call it the "fish and chip derby" so it has now been coined the Dallas Stober Memorial Fish and Chip Derby. It was an amazing honour not only to Dallas's memory but also to our family - thanks you so much!

More later,
Patty xoxo

THANK YOU GUYS!

Thank you so much to all the guys of the Men's Club at the Springs Golf Course in Radium! The recent fundraiser that you had in memory of Dallas was amazingly wonderful. When I learned that you had raised over $7000 in his name I was brought to tears (of happiness for a change!). Knowing that so many of you would take the time to pay tribute to my Big Guy has given me the strength to start moving forward. You helped me to realize that Dallas won't be forgotten because he was loved and respected by so many. I will be forever grateful for that most precious gift from all of you.

Love, Patty

THANK YOU

Thank you so much for all of your support - from the time Dallas was diagnosed until the end of our journey together - having all of you walk with us lightened our burden more than you'll ever know. Special thanks to all of you who were able to make it to the Memorial Service and the reception at our home. It was so wonderful to share stories and memories about the man who was everything to us. As we work through our grief we find strength in knowing that you are there for us. Thank you so much.

Love,
Patty, Jordan, Marcus and Heather

BYE BYE LOVE

As many of you already know, we lost Dallas Wednesday morning. We invite you to join us in celebrating his life.

i

Friday, June 10th, 2011 at 2:00 pm

at

First Memorial Funeral Chapel

4725 Falaise Drive

Saanich, BC

After the service, please join us at our home to share memories over drinks and appetizers.

Love,

Patty, Marcus, Jordan and Heather