One Year Later...

May 31, 2012

So tomorrow is the anniversary that I will never celebrate - my Big Guy said to remember the birthday and not his death day. I can't believe that I've survived a year without him. But I have and the boys and Heather have and I think he would be proud of us.

I will try to make the time to reflect tomorrow on all that I have and all that Dallas left behind. There was a poem we used at his service that I think really sums it up:


You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind and be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

- Anonymous


He really did want me and the boys to love and go on and he left us with the inner strength to do that. He was so passionate about life, love and (as a friend pointed out) mostly me. What a wonderful gift to have shared my life with this amazing man. I believe that it is his love that has given me the strength to go on and look forward to the possibilities of what life still holds for me. I hope that the boys feel that same energy - I think they must - Dallas' attitude toward life was contagious. And I know that it lives on in them.

More later,

Patty xo

THANK YOU SIDNEY ANGLERS!

I know that many of you probably don't read this blog anymore (I'm going to try and print it off into a book for the boys to remember our journey together as a family). The blog wouldn't be complete without sending hugs and BIG thank you's out to the Sidney Anglers Fishing group, of which Dallas was a proud member up until the time he died. He loved his position as treasurer and always looked forward to the meetings where fishing stories were exchanged and good company was enjoyed. At their first meeting this fall the members voted to name one of their derbies after Dallas - in fact his favourite one - the Halibut derby! He used to call it the "fish and chip derby" so it has now been coined the Dallas Stober Memorial Fish and Chip Derby. It was an amazing honour not only to Dallas's memory but also to our family - thanks you so much!

More later,
Patty xoxo

THANK YOU GUYS!

Thank you so much to all the guys of the Men's Club at the Springs Golf Course in Radium! The recent fundraiser that you had in memory of Dallas was amazingly wonderful. When I learned that you had raised over $7000 in his name I was brought to tears (of happiness for a change!). Knowing that so many of you would take the time to pay tribute to my Big Guy has given me the strength to start moving forward. You helped me to realize that Dallas won't be forgotten because he was loved and respected by so many. I will be forever grateful for that most precious gift from all of you.

Love, Patty

THANK YOU

Thank you so much for all of your support - from the time Dallas was diagnosed until the end of our journey together - having all of you walk with us lightened our burden more than you'll ever know. Special thanks to all of you who were able to make it to the Memorial Service and the reception at our home. It was so wonderful to share stories and memories about the man who was everything to us. As we work through our grief we find strength in knowing that you are there for us. Thank you so much.

Love,
Patty, Jordan, Marcus and Heather

BYE BYE LOVE

As many of you already know, we lost Dallas Wednesday morning. We invite you to join us in celebrating his life.

i

Friday, June 10th, 2011 at 2:00 pm

at

First Memorial Funeral Chapel

4725 Falaise Drive

Saanich, BC

After the service, please join us at our home to share memories over drinks and appetizers.

Love,

Patty, Marcus, Jordan and Heather

OUR HOSPICE AT HOME

Hi everyone...thanks as always for keeping in touch - your emails, calls, texts and notes are always appreciated - I'm sorry that I haven't been able to answer them. The past few weeks have become increasingly difficult for us as Dallas has suffered some major setbacks. A couple of weeks ago he had his first ride in an ambulance because he had a seizure and was having trouble breathing. He was diagnosed with pneumonia and was put on some anti-seizure medication which has thankfully lessened the intensity of his seizures. Because his immune system is so compromised he has also developed a painful case of shingles. Unfortunately, over the last several weeks Dallas has quickly moved from cane to wheelchair and now must be fully assisted whenever he moves out of his favourite chair.

As a family we continue to try and roll with the punches and work together to keep Dallas as comfortable as possible. Dallas was always been very determined to stay out the hospital so with the help of our medical team we have a hospice at home. Dallas can't take his medicine orally anymore so the Palliative Care Team have set up IV lines so that the boys and I can administer the meds that keep him comfortable. Today a hospital bed will replace Dallas's lazy boy chair and homecare staff will be here daily to look after his needs. Marcus and Heather have moved in as well and our hope is that Dallas knows he is constantly surrounded by the love of his family.

Thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts. We need them more than ever now. More later...


Love,

Patty

Hi from the Island!

Hi Everyone,

Thanks so much for all the calls, visits and emails. Please forgive me if I haven't been able to reply to you yet and know your caring is appreciated despite our silence at times.

We are keeping busy here – Dallas continues to fight the cancer with all his might but some days are very difficult. He is having a lot of issues with edema (swelling in the feet and legs especially) but he is adjusting well to using a cane and taking breaks when he needs to. We also have a walker that he is using so that he can move around a bit better when we go out. His inner strength never ceases to amaze me – I can only guess at how difficult these changes are for him. I’ve come to realize that we are still making wonderful memories together, even through this devastating time – so that in itself is a gift.

Hi everyone its Dallas now, I guess I should post more but I am not the computer one of the family. I will post some new pics soon as the hair is coming back. Fishing is terrible same as the weather, we haven't caught many salmon lately. There are days when I need the walker but most days the cane works just fine. Poor Jordan as he does all the work on and off the boat. Take care!

More later...

Love, Patty & the Big Guy